I thought about putting this in the Humor category (for about 1/10th of a second), but decided it belongs in Politics.
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and
discussing surgeries they had performed. The first said, "I'm
the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an
accident. I reattached them and 8 months later he performed a
private concert for the Queen of England."
The second said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms
and legs in an accident. I reattached them and 2 years
later he won a gold medal in the Olympic decathlon."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs.
Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and
alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling
80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president
of the United States."